Posted on March 4, 2016

Climb Out of the Darkness

 I found Postpartum Progress in the dark, dead of night. It was one of the many sleepless nights that I spent wide awake worrying about everything specific and nothing specific all at once. Mind numbing and mind overstimulating. Chaos. Searching online to find anything, anyone to help me. To relate with me. To understand me. To help me understand myself.
Postpartum Depression and Anxiety is scary. It’s so hard to be betrayed by your own mind. I felt so alone. I didn’t even have myself anymore. Who was I? I didn’t like who I was anymore. In fact, I didn’t even feel human. I felt like a worthless piece of flesh that didn’t deserve the sweet, innocent baby I had. I felt like I had a literal hole in my heart. An anguish so deep that I felt it all the way up to my throat. I couldn’t breathe. I cried. I worried. I cried. I worried. It was never-ending. Panic attacks were the absolute worst. They left me emotionally and physically drained and more feelings of guilt would consume me afterwards because I felt sorry for my husband and that he had to deal with this. He had already had to do so much during my pregnancy since I was on bedrest. He was pretty much doing everything anyway. Why did I even need to be there? I hungrily read article after article on Postpartum Progress’ blog. I knew that there were others out there who were suffering like me. Who had suffered like me and found Hope. I wanted that Hope. I needed that Hope. And these stories, articles, heartfelt messages kept me going that night.
I went on to share the articles with my husband. They helped him understand better too. Postpartum Progress was with me in my darkest times. And now that I’m recovering and can breathe and feel Hope, it is still with me as I help guide other beautiful Moms towards it. As I encourage them to seek treatment because they are worth it. This is not who they are. It is, in fact, keeping them from who they are. And they can find it again. I found it again. I am finding it again. It is a process. But, I had and have so many helping hands along the way and a big part of that was Postpartum Progress. I am giving back to something that gave so much to me.
I started a Provo team for the Climb Out of the Darkness event by Postpartum Progress! The Climb is held on or near the longest day of the year annually (it will be June 18th this year) to help shine the most light on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like postpartum depression, etc. This is the world’s largest event for raising awareness of maternal mental illnesses and features mothers and others across the globe joining together to climb mountains and hike trails to represent their symbolic rise out of the darkness of maternal mental illness and into the light of hope and recovery.
I’m so happy to be a part of this amazing organization as a Warrior Mom Ambassador and Climb Leader. The impact that Postpartum Progress has helps ENTIRE families, not just women. Moms are the glue. And if the mom is suffering, so is everyone else. Family is the fundamental unit of everything. So, in reality, we are helping entire Communities, States, Nations. Postpartum Progress provides so many resources for Moms and the medical community with their Warrior Mom Ambassador program and the future goals they have to train us Ambassadors in Mental Health First Aid and more, the Climb Out of the Darkness event, the online forum, the Warrior Mom Conference, their award winning blog, the handouts that they provide medical establishments with free of charge (pictured below), and so much more. Click here to see their Impact Report for 2015. You can only imagine what 2016’s will look like with your help.

If you’re in Utah County or close to it or will be visiting please join me and my family on the climb!!!! It is FREE. I would LOVE to have you there with us. You do NOT have to donate anything to participate. You don’t have to be suffering or have suffered from a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder. You can come to support other women. Chances are likely that you know women who have suffered from this or will suffer from this. Click HERE to join or donate to my team! 

To participate in a Climb near you, click here:…/find-a-climb/



You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply

Back to top